Service Plan

So I went to the nurse who makes up the Service Plan telling her I didn’t want the “blue shirts” walking into my room all day (you can lock the door but they all have the key) and that could she draw up a new plan.

She said sure, but that some things had to be on the plan other wise the state wouldn’t reimburse them.

So this is what they came up with:

HOME MANAGEMENT

  • Apartment housekeeping every day. (Okay with me – they make the bed)
  • Laundry: Requires assistance ever Tuesday. (Great).

DAILY ROUTINE

  • Meal attendance (they open the door and yell: Mr. Beckerman, are you coming to lunch?) You say yes. And sit upstairs for a half hour waiting to get into the meat locker. Besides, I have a reminder set on Alexa, and on my phone. S0 that’s a big NO.
  • Dressing: Requires PM assistance with dressing (first of all I don’t dress at night, as a rule. I undress. In the morning I put on jeans, a polo shirt, and sneakers, oh and change my underwear once in a while, and I do it on my own.) So that’s another big NO. (Nevertheless, while I’m under the covers falling asleep in my underwear the door opens and someone shouts: DO YOU NEED HELP DRESSING?
  • Meal Reminder (they already covered that in the first item)
  • Physician Appt Reminder (they don’t have any idea when I’ve made an appointment to see a doctor. I make it and I get a cab and go there. Not to mention the hospital puts it automatically into my calendar, and I get about three robocall reminders previous to each appt. So I have no idea what that’s about.)
  • Showering: Requires pm assistance for showering every Sunday and Wednesday. (I shower a few times a week, usually in the morning on my own. Maybe if they hired prettier “blue shirts” I’d go for that. As it is I’m being asked by old ladies to “show them the town.”)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT

  • Participates in activities (Not yet I haven’t. I’m not playing Bingo. And I am not playing Trivial Pursuit with people who can’t remember their own names or apartment numbers.)

Anyway, someone is about to burst in and ask if I’m going to breakfast. Let me get this plan back on the back of the door.

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